A few nights ago, I found myself in a most uncomfortable position. Not literally, as sitting indian-style on a couch is actually patented as "teh bestest chillin' position eva." Or, you know, if it isn't, it should be.
So, yes, here I am, sitting in "teh bestest chillin' position eva" reading "teh bestest book that is not a book" and my cousin happens to be sitting on the other end of the couch playing Super Mario 64 (LONGLIVEMARIO!). Now, I am trying my very best not to disturb him, but these sneaky giggles keep escaping me, and in the Lashasa Palulu tribe, it is considered socially rude to hold back laughter that is dying to escape, so I just had to let it out now and then or else be forever banned from civil society.
Finally, after I have dropped my head onto my knees and am almost crying from laughter, my cousin shakes his head in exhasperation and says, "It can't possibly be that funny."
Now I find myself in the aforementioned uncomfortable situation. Normally, if someone asks what I am laughing at in a book, I would hand them the item and point out for them to read "from here to here." However, Jon has his hands occupied with a controller paddle, and his eyes occupied with the TV, so I can't possibly use my normal method. I could try to explain the situation, but I just plain can't make it sound as awesome or as hilarious as the author. That leaves me with one choice--read the passage aloud.
I do not read out loud. I never read out loud--whenever I'm reading a book, it's either in private with no one to read to, or in full public where reading out loud would disturb the people around me (in more ways than one). I have never before found myself in the position where someone wanted to know something from a book in my hands and they couldn't read it themselves. The last time I read something aloud it was Shakespeare for my AP English class, and I fumbled my words almost as often as I got them right (which, I hate to admit, had very little to do with it being Shakespeare because I do the same with everything else).
So I sat there in silence and fought a debate with myself. On the one hand, I desperately needed to practice reading aloud because it's a good skill to have and something I should be doing with my own manuscripts. On the other hand, if I read aloud, I would most likely butcher the scene and be arrested immediately by the book police for premeditated scene slaughter of the third degree. On the other hand, I had run out of hands, and Jon was giving me weird looks while he waited.
So I took a deep breath and did the unthinkable. And now I am serving out a lifetime sentence in book jail.
On the bright side that is not a bright side, my chance for parole comes up in a few years, which gives me plenty of time to practice.
Current word count today: 18
Current song: Juliette by SHINee
Current quote: "Here is my problem in a nutshell: polite requests for Friday night dates can be accepted or rejected, laughed at or cried over, but I believe, even with my limited experience, that they are very rarely ingested." ~ John [You Don't Know Me, David Klass]