To Be Published . . . in a Different Manner

http://nothoughts2small.blogspot.com/2011/09/im-doing-giveaway-but-its-not-for-book.html

Hey, go check out Author Konstanz Silverbow's blog for a chance to appear in Karen Hoover's new book as a character! It's a wonderful feeling to see your name in print and know that it's not a coincidence, believe me. DO IT!!!

Short One Audience

So, I've mentioned Josh Groban thrice already on my blog (including this post, he'll have appeared in over 1/3 of my posts, haha), so by now you must know that I'm a hopeless Grobanite, yes? Sweet! In that case, permit me, I will speak of him once more, because sometimes the best lessons you learn come from the most familiar things.

Rewind to about 10:00pm Saturday, August 13th, 2011. Where am I? Energy Solutions Arena, Salt Lake City, Utah. What am I doing there? Listening to the most wonderful performer I've ever heard. And learning.

To be honest, I was terrified to see Josh Groban perform live in concert, and I'll explain why. It wasn't that I thought his live singing would be bad--psh, zero chance of that. What I was worried about was his personality and his singing motivation and his feelings toward fans. Why? Because I've absolutely loved artists in the past (authors, singers, actors) only to find that who they actually were contrasted sharply with their work. Someone's work can be completely clean and wonderful, but you just can't enjoy it when you have a nasty aftertaste from that time when you saw them live or met them and found out they have awful morals, or their sense of humor is comprised of sex jokes, or they hate their own fans, or they don't care at all about the work they do and they're only in it for money or fame or because it's easy for them.

So when Josh Groban finished his opening songs and picked up the microphone to start talking for the first time, I sunk low enough in my chair I almost couldn't see him anymore at the same time I had every bit of my attention riveted on him. I think I was tense enough that if someone would have poked me, I would have screamed bloody murder and jumped about four feet in the air. Luckily, no one did, and my tension drained a bit more with every minute. Because it turned out I had nothing to worry about.

There's one thing in particular I want to talk about. The longer Josh Groban performed, the more obvious it became how much he loved singing. Not only did he never sing a half-hearted song, but he never sang a half-hearted note. Every song he performed completely surpassed its CD counterpart because he poured so much energy into every instant. I honestly don't even know where it all came from except that he just loves his craft. Even when he was pouring sweat and panting when he talked between songs, his performance and his smile never dropped. It left me with the very vivid feeling that Josh Groban is one of those artists who loves what he does so much that he would still do it even if he didn't have a single person listening. He performs for his fans, but he sings for himself.

Seeing that in action made me wonder about my own craft. I think it's easy to lose sight of the reason you do something, and I realized that I've been lax in my writing lately because I was feeling the lack of an audience. I even stopped reading just because it stung to see someone who'd succeeded in something I loved so much but was getting nowhere in. I had that mindset of, "If no one sees it, if I'm the only one who likes it, what's the point?"

The point is that if you only do something for the attention it gains, you're only hurting yourself. If I don't want to write because I don't have an audience, I will never have an audience, because I won't have anything to gain one with. And if I only write to get praise from other people, I'll only feel happy in the one or two minutes of conversation where someone compliments me. It won't make me lastingly happy, and it won't be my best work because it won't have my heart and energy in it. I need to write for myself just because I love writing and it's what I want to do, with or without an audience.

And I do, actually. I have folders upon folders of writing on my computer to prove it that have never been seen by anyone, they were just written because I wanted to pour myself out on paper. I just lost my grip on that, is all. But I got it back on Saturday, and hopefully someday I'll be able to meet Josh Groban so I can thank him for it, right? (Now you all know my secret "if you could do anything" wish, haha)

So here's my focus back and in full force. I want to be published for an audience, but I want to write for myself!

~ Lizzy
Current word count today: 769
Current song: Oceano by Josh Groban

Current quote: "Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish." ~ John Jakes

All Things Good to Those Who Comment

No Thought 2 Small: Giveaway time!!!!: "And now. . .. it's time. . .to win a copy of Darkspell!!(Will not be sent until the release of Darkspell Fall of 2011) Comment on this p..."

Run over to my friend Konstanz's blog and look at her interview with author Elizabeth Mueller--and if you comment on her giveaway post, you have a chance to win a signed copy of Elizabeth's new book Darkspell. DOOOOOOO IIIIIIIIIT!! :D

Cursed

I. Am. Cursed. No, really, it's true. I think that in my un-retainable baby memories somewhere, there's a day where a fairy/witch/troll/gnome/Voldemort/elf/mischeivious being appeared in my nursery, cackled some menacing evil cackle, and cursed me. Cursed me with what, you might say? Good question.

Credit to http://listaspiran.deviantart.com/ :)

Will I sleep for a hundred years after jabbing my finger on a needle (because that's my favorite way to spend my sixteenth birthday)? No, quite obviously I'm already older than sixteen. Will I become a beast locked away in a castle? I can be sarcastic, but I don't think I'm a jerk. Will I have to charade as a mime for three days and try to convince a prince to smooch me? As fun as that could be, neither I nor my prince are part fish (plus I haven't met him yet).

No, I am cursed to corrupt electronics. Total letdown, right? I know! It's not a cool curse that will lead me to Happily Ever After with a totally hot prince, it's just annoying. I hit a new curse record this week while house-sitting for a friend--I managed to jinx her TV on the first day so it wouldn't move from channel 23. Why 23? Ask the fairy/witch/troll/etc. After that, the music player on her computer became totally possessed and started collecting music in its library from some random source--not even cool music either. It was Christmas jingles! Why couldn't it snatch some Josh Groban or SHINee or Within Temptation or Jon Schmidt or something? No such luck.

As I sighed to myself about electronics, my phone decided to jump in on the party and stop vibrating to give me alerts. An hour after I expected a text, I checked it and saw the text bouncing on my screen, but it had never gone off. Checked the settings--sure enough, on vibrate. Held it in my hand waiting for the next text and, sure enough again, when it came in, the phone stared at me blankly like, "I'm not vibrating unless I get medical benefits now." Five minutes later, it decided it liked my ringtone and randomly switched back to the ring setting. Fine, phone, have it your way. At least it gave me some kind of alert after that.

More events piled up after that, naturally (picky PS2, snarky DVD player, and don't get me started on my iPod which is always possessed), and explaining them all to my friend when she returned was quite the fun time. But, here's the other great part about the curse--after my chi disrupts the spiritual flow of whatever electronic (or denies it medical), as soon as the original owner touches the machine, it is immediately restored. (Minus my stuff naturally, which is just stuck no matter what.) Which means that I get laughed at a lot, but that's okay, because I get these great stories out of it with no long-term effects.

Except! Mwah ha ha, the Christmas jingles remain in the music library. So, you know, Merry Early Christmas to my friend, unintentionally.

In Which Thursday Ate Hot Fudge Sundaes

Thursdays make me happy. I dunno why, but it's just that day when I stop and grin and go, "Today is a great day." I think it's because of Thursday's flavor. Fridays are taffy--tastes great, but it takes forever to get through because you're looking forward to the full weekend. Saturdays are spicy, because there's so much you want to get done that you burn through the day before you even realize it's gone. Sundays are cranberry juice--fantastic flavor to begin with, but a nasty aftertaste when you realize the weekend has ended. Mondays are tangy because you just left the weekend behind, but you can still savor a bit of it. Tuesdays are bitter because you're even more ingrained in the week now, but you can still remember the weekend enough to miss it. Wednesdays are sweet and sour because they're stuck right in the middle. But Thursdays? Thursdays are brownies, warm and yummy, with bad memories of the week behind and optimism for the weekend ahead. (Mmmmm, brownies!) If you're extra lucky, life sometimes even hands you hot fudge and a scoop of cake-batter ice cream, like, say, basking in the glory of Josh Groban's phenomenal voice while soaking in the fact that you've (somehow) officially passed Calculus with not just a D-, but an A-. (As a random, nonspecific example! (Name that movie!))

So enjoy your Thursday, everyone, because we deserve this deliciousness!

~ Lizzy
Current word count today: 33
Current song: My Confession by Josh Groban
Current quote: "Because we can change, and because we can never return, that is why we should live the only lives we have without remorse." ~ Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles